Little Miss Muffet Had the Right Idea

If you’re like me, you start thinking about putting up your Christmas decorations immediately after Thanksgiving dinner. Following true to form, I set off for our garage immediately after clearing the table. Our two outside cats, Bo and Svenn kept me company – which I was grateful for since I have an INTENSE fear of snakes.

Every year, when I open the boxes of decorations, ornaments, wreaths, etc, I always stand back and pray I don’t come face to tongue with my number one phobia. I’m not that fond of mice either, which is something else I keep all six eyes on (mine, Bo’s, and Svenn’s). I always tear off the tape, open the lids and watch – while striking a “flee for my life” pose.

Today, it wasn’t one of those demonic things that greeted me. After I opened the box, I didn’t see anything moving, so I pulled back a layer of the tissue paper. There it was – one of Little Miss Muffet’s buddies. But it wasn’t just any spider. It was a big, beautiful (in its own way) brown recluse spider. I kept my boys away and trapped it in a jar with a lid. I wanted to show my daughters as a sort of real life nature lesson. They were pretty grossed out, which is okay, I’m sure I owed them for something.

It’s violin on it’s whatever (back?) looked exactly like a miniature violin. I couldn’t help being impressed. I’m pretty sure that if it’d seen me before I saw it, impressed is the last thing I would have been.

After about 10 minutes, I felt sorry for the pretty little devil, so I did the merciful thing. I dumped it on a sidewalk, grabbed one of my husband’s shoes and, well… Spider = 0 / Joi = 1. Svenn watched it all go down, but Bo couldn’t bear to look.

I’m just really thankful to my Guardian Angels (plural, I know I have a team) for keeping this from being a Thanksgiving for the books.

That’s why I’m posting this little WATCH THE HECK OUT message. When you’re getting into your Christmas goodies, keep both eyes out at all times. Don’t bring the boxes inside to go through – do it outdoors. Wear gloves and take things one at a time.

After my encounter, I thoroughly inspected everything – every santa had to show me what he had under his hat, every snowman had to shake out his scarf, and every gingerbread man was subjected to a strip search.

I went through Bethlehem with a flashlight. I felt like a police officer on the night shift. There was a little spider up in the head of a camel. He wasn’t very impressive, so he didn’t get to be a specimen before death. He went straight to his maker.

I never realized before today how many decorations are made with big wide openings on the bottom! I’m taping those dudes up before storing everything this year – In. Plastic. Crates. With. Secure. Lids.

Again, be careful and tell everyone you know to be careful.

Edit: Apparently discovering a new phobia had me as shook up as Elvis (uhuhhuh), I mistyped Bethlehem as Bethleham. I’ve corrected the typing error and apologize for my hast to warn all of lurking spiders.

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